the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
