Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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