you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
