video games are the ultimate cock blocker
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
