Where are you?
In a non slutty way
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
