8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
