I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
so explain again why im purple
no
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
