I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
