i jhust puked up my retainher.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
