i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize