It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize