THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize