She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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