he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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