that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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