you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
