We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
