Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
