It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
