...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Watching her eat just hurts me
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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