Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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