weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
