Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize