i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You took a bar mat shot.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
