he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
