VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
