can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize