So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
