So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
