i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
