you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
So much Jack, so little girl.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
