what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just found puke in my bra..
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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