that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We need to rekindle our bromance
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
