I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
