Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
