He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I need water and some morals
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
