Don't you send me to vm
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Randomize
