they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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