why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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