Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Pants are for mortals
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize