you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
