Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
My dick has a subreddit
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
