i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
