she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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