I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
