And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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