Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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