I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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