I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
