new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
