carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
