in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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