instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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