Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Two words: blizzard sex
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
