Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize