why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize