I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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