PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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