I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
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