youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
