did you get engaged???
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
