yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
