Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
