do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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