Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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