But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Just high enough for therapy.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
