Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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