Your mouth is God's brothel.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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