tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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