Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Randomize
