You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
