Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
