wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
